Please review the attched files as detail thorough instructions. I have attched 4 source files. They are secondary sources on The Zoo Story. You are required to use the interview (with Goldman) and ONE of the scholarly articles in your paper, which I have attached (Idea of Language in Albee by Julian N. Wasserman). I have also attached my first draft. I need to extend the essay based off the feedback I have received.
Thesis statement target feedback:
You have laid out the theme of the paper with your descriptive and engaging opening statement. You have formulated a great draft for yourself here. The introduction works greatly to keep the readers engaged. However, the first paragraph of the essay needs a clear and focused thesis statement to explicitly state the main idea of the essay. A thesis statement is typically found at the end of a paper’s introductory paragraph and provides a brief overview of the essay’s major topic or claim.
Essay Structure: Organization and paragraphing
Surely, you have put your best foot forward to organize your essay. Nonetheless, a few more changes can take your writing to a great extent. You can start by using transitional words and phrases like however/moreover/indeed, etc. can make the transitions even better and enhance the readability of the paper. Also, you can employ a clear thesis statement to explicitly clarify the central idea of the essay. You can also add topic sentences to clarify the main idea about the writer’s position on the topic, it is almost like encapsulating the entire paragraph and giving an idea to the audience of what they can expect in the given paragraph. Lastly, keep the paragraphs shorter to create a better flow in the essay and it will also help you in keeping your readers engaged.