This is a film survey class where we watch movies and write about them. we did a close reading assignment which is “a careful, sustained interpretation of an entire film achieved by focusing closely on small parts of it”. The movie I chose was “The Graduate”. It was graded based on these criteria:
1. Your background knowledge of film (Sikov and any other course materials contained in Blackboard)
2. Your paper’s argument (development and organization). Mechanical and organizational problems will detract from the “argument” portion of your grade, as they diminish a writer’s credibility, or ethos.
3. Your analysis of the film (application of concepts from this course)
Now, there is an assignment to revise the paper we already wrote. This is where I am needing help.
Instructions from my professor regarding this revision assignment:
Your job in this assignment is to revise your close reading paper to sharpen its claims and connections (and address any proofreading or editing issues you may have.)
Include at the end of your paper an outline that states your thesis statement and subpoints in complete sentences, not just phrases or topics. Working through a full-sentence outline will help you identify what your main points are and how they relate to one another.
Think of revision as re-vision: seeing your ideas and knowledge through a sharper and better lens.
Keep large-scale revision in mind. Save line editing (e.g. punctuation, word choice) for the end of your process. (Save a day at the end of your timeframe just for proofreading and editing.) To do this larger scale revision, consider which of the following items will improve your close reading:
isolating and developing your claims
narrowing your thesis statement and/or topic sentences
reordering your points
eliminating points that don’t fit your major claim (thesis) and further developing points that do
sharpening your introduction
improving sentence-to-sentence and paragraph-to-paragraph cohesion (repeat keywords or phrases in ways that connect old information to new)
making your papers more coherent by uncovering your own assumptions and spelling out your reasons
lengthening your papers by adding more supporting evidence, explanations, and/or expert sources
Your goal is to identify and defend your best points, placing your major claims in the places where they will get your reader’s attention. Consider, for example, revising your topic sentences to fit your conclusion, or choosing the best possible title for your paper and making sure its keywords are explained and returned to throughout your paper.
Also, make sure you read and attend to my comments on your papers carefully! Look to see the patterns in the comments I have made, and work to improve those areas.
Grading: 100 points, of which 20 points will be for the outline placed at the end of your paper. The remainder of your grade for this assignment will be based on 1. organization, 2. proofreading and 3. how well your paper fulfills its outline. Papers that make few or no changes from your original paper will be given a zero. I will be comparing both versions to see what improvements you made, so be sure to make them!
I have attached my close reading paper with the corrections from my professor on it.