You have the option of revising Paper #1. Read through your original paper carefully to see what changes you can and should make, how you might develop your discussion further, and how you might incorporate my grading suggestions into your revision.
When you submit your revision, please include a brief statement about how you approached the revision, what changes you made, and how you think the paper has changed. Please include the original paper when you submit your revised response, along with the statement about the revising process.
You can combine the revising statement with the revised paper as one document or submit separate files. Make sure you upload your original paper as a separate file as well. Each of these three documents (the revising statement, the revised paper, and the original paper) are needed in order for me to grade your work.
Be sure to label these documents properly and include your name. For example, you could identify your documents in the following manner:
1) Your statement about the changes you made, label “Your Name_Revising Statement”)
2) The revised paper #1, label as “Your Name_Revised Paper #1”
3) The original paper, label as “Your Name_Original Paper #1”
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Professor Feedback: Joseph, You clearly have. given the subject of growing up and the impact of relationships on the individual much good thought. You work in lots of good information to help support your discussion. One aspect of the paper that I was. expecting/hoping you would develop more was how exactly these forces shaped you into the person you are. You stayed more on the general level rather than relating the discussion directly to your life and experiences. Are there examples, incidents, or experiences from your personal life that you could work into your discussion to show how region, family, positive relationships, understanding the value of family, environment, etc. made you into the person you are today? I think that would make for an even richer discussion and would take your paper from the general to the specific. I hope you’ll consider revising,
B/84